pandabear0880's Xanga

ANNOUNCEMENT!

Sun, 30 Mar 2008 12:28:48 GMT

Tomorrow, I'm going to add a new layout and icon section to my blog. Why? Because I miss making layouts :D.

But since it's so soon, and there's always so much to do, I'm going to post my old xanga layouts first. Sorry but I just don't have the time yet.

Tomorrow's going to be the last day of classes (yippee!) so I'm going to have lots of free time by then. Ciao!

I Swear

Sat, 29 Mar 2008 10:01:00 GMT

Oh shit.

Bet you've heard that one before. Maybe even said it yourself.

I know I do. I swear almost everyday, except in situations where it simply isn't possible (family members that can overhear you; formal social events where they give you the evil eye if you swear; masses; etc.)

And now, I am here to defend my actions and that of other fellow swearers.

Why do we even swear in the first place? We swear in order to express strong emotions, be it of embarrassment, frustration, anger, and even love. Yes, love. You know. When you see some cute guy staring at you from across the street and you just think, Oh shit.

And haven't we heard a lot about how helpful expressing your emotions is? It's our EQ (Emotional Quotient) that really decides how fulfilling, and even how long, our lives are going to be.

The only opposition to swearing is that it's impolite, a mark of ill-breeding. Screw that. Life isn't about being proper and respectable. It's about living.

So swear to high heaven. See who cares.

Grammar Check

Fri, 28 Mar 2008 06:11:35 GMT

So there you are, skimming through another school's paper, looking for something worth reading. Then something grabs your attention: a picture of a sweet-faced little girl. Hmmm... Intriguing.

So you start reading the article. It turns out to be a dedication. The story of a little girl who died of leukemia. Written by her sister.

It's all very touching... You want to feel sad. You want to feel grief. She deserves your tears.

But one thing hinders you, as it always does when you read articles like this. You can't help it. You curse your English teachers, each and everyone of them, for drilling this demon into your head. A demon by the name of Grammar.

Though you want to feel whatever the writer is feeling, you can't. Because all through the article you're reading, there's this voice at the back of your mind, screaming, "Wrong grammar! Wrong grammar!!!" But you try to fight the urge to grab a pen and scribble over the abusive word written and published in paper. What the hell is wrong with this paper's editor?? Doesn't he/she know the difference between 'is' and 'are'? Why the hell don't they use a word processor if they don't know how to spell?

All these thoughts are going through your head as you read the sufferings the writer is going through, only she wrote it as 'the suffering we went through'. Ahhhhhhhhhhh!!!! People and their language skills....

Yet you fight on. Trying to unscramble the hidden messages behind the confusing grammatical errors. And you continually stay on alert, diverting your thoughts whenever they start to turn to, "This should be...."

And finally, you reach the end. You slump back, exhausted. But you didn't win the battle. Because deep down, you don't feel grieved by the little girl's death or how much her sister suffered. You only feel grieved with the way people continually ignore the beauty of word processors and correct grammar.

There was this girl who loved this boy.

Thu, 27 Mar 2008 05:49:59 GMT

There was once this girl who loved this boy.

She'd spend hours in front of the mirror everyday. She'd buy him boxes of chocolates every time she went to the supermarket, then spend the rest of the night wrapping them up with lace and hearts. She'd toss and turn every night, dreaming of him.

Sometimes he came as her prince, becoming manners and princely stature. Others, he was her knight, rescuing her from the vile workings of the world. But usually, he was simply her consolation, caressing her in his arms and making her feel safe whenever she wasn't.

Their's was a love impossible to compare to anything else. He was her drug, and she was his sun.

Yet they had no choice but to meet in the shadows, lest their love be tainted. It would have been too much for the rest of this sinful world to see. For he wasn't anything of this world. Their world together was perfect. Yet perfectly imaginary.

He existed merely in her dreams.

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Wed, 26 Mar 2008 13:06:35 GMT

Silence. Then, in a voice barely above a whisper, he asked me, Have you ever killed anyone?

The question surprised me. Of course not.
Hmmm… was all he said. Bet you aren’t that crazy yet, huh?

No way.

He hummed again. Like a string being torn to shreds.

Where was this conversation going? Why ask that in the first place? Unless…

Well.

I jumped.

Well. Maybe I am.

I froze. He was staring at me. With his chocolate brown eyes. But they weren’t meltingly sweet the way they used to be when he was staring at me. Instead, they were pitch black coals.

One step back.

He didn’t seem to notice. Or at least pretended not to.

Another step.

I shouldn’t have gone alone. Lying to my parents like that. Just to see him. Just to be with him.

I was quietly edging away.

And I loved him so…. I still did.

I stopped.

This was the end, I realized. I was going to die.

He was walking towards me.

No.

He was pacing. Hunting…

Then I understood.

How lucky I was…

To die in the arms of my love. My prayers were finally answered.

His finger held up my chin.

His eyes again. Coal black.

He leaned in, and I felt his lips on mine. And for that last second, I once again saw the chocolate eyes I loved.

And then it ended.

How do you get over someone that doesn't love you back?

Tue, 25 Mar 2008 11:53:45 GMT

I hardly know..... I could hardly call whatever I've felt was love. Except maybe that first time.... Oh well. It doesn't matter. I'm not an expert.

I just answered this Featured Question, you can answer it too!

At School

Fri, 14 Mar 2008 06:11:14 GMT

And yes... I am in my demented school right now. Someone is at my back, reading this. Her name is J*****. (asterisked to protect identity :D). So, I can't be emotional right now. Because....... she told me I can be emotional. So I won't be. :))

Hmm.... This day has been........... tiring. I slept extremely late last night, only 5 hours of sleep. Not enough for a growing teenager. And the scent of coffee was not enough to rev up my day. Because I have been sleeping late for four days in a row, which I'm no longer used to.

Ok. So I'm ranting. Well..... I don't really know what to write. Hmm... So I'll just tell you something about J*****. She wears glasses. Mark Tan says she smells like she didn't shampoo her hair. She wears a ponytail. She loves anime. She is smaller than me. She loves anime. She's my classmate. And again, she loves anime.

Are you happy with the name your parents gave you? Why or why not?

Thu, 13 Mar 2008 10:24:04 GMT

Ysabel. A common name with an uncommon spelling. People always get it wrong. It's either I'm Isabel or Isabelle or Ysabelle.............. etc. Annoying.

But I love my name. It's so..... me.

Somewhat mysterious. The name of beautiful women. Bwahaha. Here again goes my vanity.

I just answered this Featured Question, you can answer it too!

Breasts, Butts, and Waistlines

Wed, 12 Mar 2008 10:24:50 GMT

Diets. Cosmetic surgery. Anorexia. Fitness. Health.

A guy friend of mine asked me, 'Why is it that when I talk to a girl, she usually talks about fitness & health? Specifically, her weight.' It makes me wonder.... Because I'm like that too. Weight, self-image conscious.

What is the big deal about fitness & health? So you should take care of your body. But should you always think about how many calories are in that cookie? Or how much do I weigh right now? Or how fat does this shirt make me look?

We have been made to believe that fat people are.... less. As though being fat was a liability. Wow. She's cute. But... she's fat. If only she was thinner... As though thinness would complete you.

And we have been led to believe that it does. Advertisements displaying sexy females parading around town with their 36'26'38 figures. Displaying men chasing them. As though that was everything that mattered.

Then I beg to disagree. So it's true that getting thin might increase my self-esteem. But that wouldn't be everything. It wouldn't be the sun shining on my back, the laugh shaking through me every time I'm happy, the blanket wrapped around me every night when I go to sleep.

There is a thin line between self-confidence and loving myself. But a line nevertheless. And losing a few pounds doesn't change that.

Is college education a must for most people in the modern world? Why or why not?

Tue, 11 Mar 2008 12:50:54 GMT

You go to college to specialize. You want to be a genetic engineer? Then you need to take in more biology, particularly genetics. But if you want to spend the rest of your life as, say, a carpenter, or mechanic, then you needn't go to college. Just join the workforce and know as much as you can.

There are lot of people, most of my family included, who are prejudiced when it comes to high school graduates. Won't get to be anything, they say. But look at Bill Gates. Look at Mozart. Bethoven.

You don't really need a degree. The things they teach you in college can be learned when you're working. They're just brought out to you earlier to make you better prepared for the challenges you'll face.

What you need is passion, patience, and determination. Besides, I know a lot of people with PhDs who never really "succeed" under cultural definition.

I just answered this Featured Question, you can answer it too!